October 24th

collapsed, troubled prepared to implode
feeling that I'm worldly owed
festering in my self loathing
slumming in my bed clothing
feeling as sorry as it's possible to feel
not wanting to expose the big reveal
want to wallow and waste away
feel that there's nothing left to say
even if I did it not your fault
take it all with a pinch of salt
down in the dumps feeling quite low
then a call from someone I know
everything he's done has a silver lining
honestly, talk about timing
His voice was full of wonder and light
Hopeful conversation bouncy and polite
I don’t have faith in destiny or fate
But believe in the good timing of a mate
He knew just the right time of day
He knew the best things to say
His enthusiasm and tone made me smile
I hadn’t heard that for quite a while
Positive, encouraging, funny and direct
Sometimes simplicity is easy to forget
To my friend who knew just what to say
The futures bright, the futures Gray

October 23rd

Too good to come to fruition

Too nice to fit my position

Too easy to start again

Too dark to see the flame

Too simple to hold in hand

Too lucid to fit my plan

Too basic too simplistic

Too effortless to un-drastic

Too straight forward for me

Too many doors for this key

Too much influence and pressure

Too tall and wide for me to measure

Too real to actually come true

Too soon to fully review

Too amazing to fully come off

Too few peaks too many troughs

Too wonderful for words

Too complex to observe

Too sure that it would do

Too dark and all to blue

Too excessive and oversold

To hot to feel too cold

Too close to turn our backs

Too near to now relax

Too great for us not to cope

Too close for us to lose our hope

October 22nd

Today has been adventurous and free

I can sort of see the forest for the tree

I've kind of cleared a better direction

And nearly figured out my retrospection

It was okay, fine, mediocre

I've sorted my new face for poker

He said this then I said that

Socially acceptable bonding back pat

Now the future is nearly clear

We are no further but a little near

We definitely know nothing for certain

We are no closer to raising the curtain

Positivity has surrounded me

And life could not better be

Clouded in my minds pollution

Longing for the new solution

Through the darkness I've been led

And there is a clearing up ahead

Just a good future as I ask it

But not putting eggs into one basket

Success is mine for the taking

And it'll be worth the waiting

If negativity does return

how to move on, what to learn

Upcoming thoughts begin to swell

And all's well that ends well

October 21st

This is the life I can't afford

Sitting discussing houses abroad

Butlers and Nannies, private education

Original artwork bought by a rich relation

Grand parties in grander houses

Shiny shoes and tweedy trousers

Peoples who's gardens are bigger parks

Who do their big shop in Marks and Sparks

Drive around in four by fours

Whose tiny dogs have tiny paws

Who are a continual glowing colour

Teeth are bright but lives are duller

They don't seem to be bothered at all

By the current climate or economic fall

I'm hoping they don't hold a grudge

And perhaps I'm too quick to judge

People make the world go round

And it's good to find some middle ground

Folks with money are just people

With bigger houses with a steeple

October 20th

seemingly failed to strike a chord

so now its back to the drawing board

Free to browse for my selection

free to choose a new direction

I've stumbled back into the starting blocks

learned my lesson taken the knocks

I've come out the other side a better man

redesigned and reconstructed the plan

I've not been stopped just the breaks applied

see the future with eyes open wide

Life is a library for my learning

I've finished one book that needs returning

But I want to carry on reading

Each adventure superseding

I want to read and learn some more

But I've run out of library metaphor

So I'll look for a book by me

And call it mediocrity

If my year is to be a book in writing

I'm just getting to the bit that’s exciting

If you'd like to read the book by myself

Just look upon the genius shelf

October 19th

What was Bruce thinking, when he wrote Born to run

How were Waters and Gilmore feeling writing Comfortably Numb

What made Wilson feel those Good Vibrations

And Townsend was right about My Generation

what was it about McCartney and Lennon

that makes their writing go on and on

What made their writing more revealing?

What made their songs stand out?

Did they just pen innermost feelings

or just know what music was about

I hope that something I write

Will mean something to someone

Real feelings not just being polite

Recognition of how far I've come

October 18th

Monday was a day of rest

Tuesday was full of waiting stress

Wednesday my life stood still

Thursday had more time to kill

Friday normality continued

Saturday held the weeks aptitude

Sunday was a busy day

Monday didn't go my way

Tuesday wasn't what I wanted

Wednesday left feeling haunted

Thursday I'd seen what I'd become

Friday feeling had succumb

Saturday didn't get dressed

Sunday had lack of rest

Monday lack of inspiration

Tuesday full of perspiration

Wednesday a light was shining

Thursday cloud had silver lining

Friday feeling fully refreshed

Saturday's ego was caressed

Sunday rearranged my thoughts

Monday start again from nought

October 17th

I’ll take the chances that are mine

Surrounded by the light you shine

It’s hard work but made worthwhile

My day is brightened by your smile

I’ll put into place lessons taught

And make the best of time bought

We’ll start again and get some closure

We’ll reboot, redecorate and start over

I’ll realign concentrate and focus

More us time will be our bonus

I’ll suffer from this daily drubbing

And run home to your good loving

I’ll set my sights and endeavour

To make the most of times together

I’ll straighten out to conventionality

And regain some life normality

I’ll grab it firmly with both hands

Write the blueprints for our plans

I’ll surround myself with you entirely

We’ll ease back into living society

I’ll balance things out and steady our ground

And celebrate the new life found

I’ll enter completely and whole hearted

I’ll help you get the party started

I’ll smooth out all the bumpy terrain

And we’ll start to live our lives again

October 16th

Another day over, one more in the cask

Another day of sticking to my task

Another sunset in the same sky

Another day of future passing me by

Another day that’s turned into night

Another day as I continue to write

Another day of being devoted

Another day of being misquoted

Another night in, another cooked meal

Another chance to forget what is real

Another moment to inscribe again

Another poem that’s exactly the same

Another starlight happening elsewhere

Another thought of being there

Another sequence of perpetual bliss

Another hour away from things I miss

Another sleep fuelling the same dreams

Another story with imaginable scenes

Another beginning has been self started

Another day ends completely half hearted

Another day closer to being somewhere

Another day further from getting there

Another day to regroup and compose

Another chance for poise and prose

Another time to tell it my way

Another poem on another day

October 15th

Silence, the sound the telephone makes

Dragging the length of time that it takes

Just one call to set wheels in motion

One small wave in life’s great ocean

No call fourth coming, no sound is heard

Lingering on each unspoken word

Lord, give me serenity, do me a favour

I shall not covert the ass of my neighbour

I’m questioning your worldly existence

And pressuring you with my persistence

I’ve kept calm, been patient and well behaved

Focused on now, even though future is craved

For what do I owe this enduring extension?

My work has gained a third dimension

A didn’t want this to be a factor

My minds become a literary compactor

More thinking is leading to dried up thoughts

Left with currants and prunes of witty retorts

No news is good news, as they say

It encourages deep daily word play

I’m looking and hoping for further details

I’m hoping to put my train on the rails

Looking forward to our final destination

Settling for a homely location

More news to follow and if it’s right

Then out lives fire we can reignite 

October 14th

Trying harder to use time more wisely

So as the end of the year doesn’t surprise me

It’s been ten months since this thing started

We are heading to areas as yet uncharted

Heading for quantity over quality

Beginning to feel the inevitable frivolity

Suffering from frequent repetition

But anticipating my predisposition

I had never written so much as a letter

The more I write, the more it gets better

I feel that the daily struggle word fighting

Leaves me feeling that I’m over-writing

But perhaps my daily determination

Has become my greatest inspiration

With two months left I’m beginning to doubt

That there’s anything left to write about

Or if it would be a big mistake

To take an early two month break

Give me this ending, categorically

Take my hand, metaphorically

Lead me to the winners land

And help me take my pen in hand

Join my club, become a member

And get me through to the end of December

So my readers, yes, both of you

Help me do what I know I should do

Show you love me, by reading my passage

Give me an encouraging shoulder massage

Pat my back and urge me on

See me to my first denouement

October 13th

if I could harness the trailing wind

and bottle the air that’s blown

if I could keep my dreams tinned

I could open them and find home

My aspirations are frozen

my ambition is put on hold

The paths and the wants I have chosen

have been bid on but remain unsold

I know that it's all in the waiting

I know it's a game that life plays

That makes it no less frustrating

Or shortens my lingering days

It's hard to remain positive

When you've handed your life across

I'm trying to be more acquisitive

whilst waiting for the correct riposte

As with the changing of the leaves

The summers changing's begun

I need my 'now' to catch the breeze

And be warmed in the fading sun

My future is being blown around

And hopes are up in the air

I know I'll find some common ground

And settle my life down there

October 12th

Why, when you’re close to leaving

Do you get a sudden emotion?

Is it the strain and the heaving?

Or the result of loyal devotion

You leave with the wishes of others

And the promise to keep in touch

With those who are now like brothers

And those that won’t miss you as much

You start to enjoy your surroundings

As you always hoped you might

You thoughts are of new groundings

The tunnel opens up to the light

You think of the effort and hours

That got you to where you are

But now you will use all your powers

To wish on a new shooting star

The newly acquired work skill

To which you’re now attuned

Kept with gestures of goodwill

And memories festooned

The negative energy some bought

To obscure your working days

Will be dismissed without a thought

And there, you hope it stays

So keep the best bits of your time

As you move to pastures new

Look ahead as up you climb

Looking back just to bid adieu

October 11th

Please accept my apologies, for my absents in your first year

Things had been kind of hectic, and then you chose to appear

From now on I’ll do much better and try to make amends

And just like me and your Daddy, we can be good friends

I wish I could have been there to hear your first gurgles

And know that I’m waiting to talk, as you become more verbal

The world is waiting for you, with all its wonder and glory

And I’ll be there, for you, as well to listen to your story

Your parents are the greatest, I knew them before you met me

But if you need to moan about them, you just come and get me

I know that as you get older, we’ll become closer kin

And we’ll be right behind you, as you take on the world and win

October 10th

Time is a complicated notion

A great occasion or poison potion

Time gives us conceptual validity

Of an ongoing regular fluidity

Time does not curve or bend

Time is neither enemy nor friend

Time can be broken down and sold

As it lets us know we are getting old

Time is just a lunar guide

Time is never on your side

Time is never fast or backdated

Time tells you how long you’ve waited

Times time, when it’s gone it’s gone

Time is never right or wrong

Time allows us to be controlled

To be sectioned, grouped and pigeon holed

Time never lets you get bored

As time is always moving forward

Take the smooth time with the rough

Times gone before you’ve had enough

Time never turns out as planned

It can be first or second hand

Time can be real or fake

Time is only what you make

Time will always dumfound and surprise

Make the most of your time, as it fly’s

October 9th

My long days now, seem even longer

But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

I suppose it’s not as bad as it seems

And I’m taking one for the team

My life is currently placed on pause

Waiting to open up new doors

And whilst I’m waiting for it to align

The day seems to last a lifetime

The signals are still positive

More ups than downs, as we try to live

So I’ll keep my glass half full

Trying not to push or pull

But letting the future take it’s time

Recovering what is knowingly mine

With good intent and will in my heart

I’ll plot a course upon our chart

Sail into a new beginning

Celebrate in what I am winning

I feel that good news soon will thrive

And I’ll be writing on the other side

And although we can’t plan celebrations

We can start to lay out the foundations

We’re upgrading our life’s computer

And we’ll soon get back to our future

How long? Only time will tell

It all depends when they ring my bell

October 8th

Its funny how a troubled life

Can be somewhat eased by a smiling wife

And how time to just chill out

Can make you remember what it’s all about

It’s the simple things you take for granted

Nurse the roots where your futures planted

Just a bottle of wine with a meal

Can remind you how it used to feel

The reasons why you first dated

Simplified and less complicated

A venue, a meal and a little face time

Favourite moments, of yours and mine

We don’t do this nearly enough

Flowers, candles, mushy stuff

We’ve made it through the worst weather

And enjoy our rare time together

You can forget and lose your way

With someone you see everyday

So I’ll try and keep us fresh and raw

And have some us time more and more

Our future will be paved with gold

Maturing and blossoming and getting old

I’ll try to make the best of bad

And make you smile when you’re sad

Our happiness for now is you and me

Eating fish and chips in Southend on Sea

October 7th

Watching patiently, patiently waiting

Time passes slowly, anticipating

Twiddling thumbs, going out of my mind

Honestly looking but can't see to find

Never really give it much thought

And made the best, as I've been taught

Hoping a little luck might come way

I’ve said all that I'm supposed to say

If nothing happens then I'll try again

Until it's my time to ascend

I've done all I can for now

I'll take the reward that time allows

And if and when it comes to fruition

I'll instigate my intuition

And this time my best laid plan

Will not be scuppered by mouse or man

This move, most recent and latest

Will be my final and my greatest

I'll fill my home with poetic love and romance

Plant my feet and take up my stance

I'll make the most of my transition

Be the greatest host of my position

Start to benefit from our nomadic life

Happy home means happy wife

The happier wife, the happier me

We'll be the best that we can be

More fluidity to my life commentating

Watching patiently, patiently waiting

October 6th

If frustration is good for the soul

And if it’s good to have an occasional crisis

Then it’s time we were back in control

Time to reap from our own sacrifices

I’m not suggesting we are owed anything

Or that the world is being two faced

But if you’re suppose to receive what you bring

Then mine seems to have been misplaced

I’m not going to harp on about a difficult day

I’m not a believer in superstition

I’d just like luck to meet me half way

Since we got to this good position

I’d like to live whilst I’m are alive

Cos I don’t think I’ll get to heaven

I use my own rules to survive

Turn my music up to eleven

I’m not asking for you to do it all

To serve it all on a silver plate

Just warn me before a possible fall

And highlight helpful fate

Help me, show me blueprints of your plan

Give me a definite obvious sign

Have I annoyed the great godly man?

Have I disappointed the divine?

If so, then apologies, offence was never meant

I have just tried to do my best

I tried to be open honest and pleasant

Tried to be happy and noblest

So my frustration will never show

My wits will stay so sharp

And when I die, then down I'll go

Because I can't play the harp.

October 5th

With money changed hands for ticket requisition

I take up my most uncomfortable writing position

With all the green and pollution fuss

I taken to writing whilst riding the bus

Being knocked around down bumpy streets

In tiny sized, child like seats

My fingers I try to control

As we hit every single pothole

My carbon footprint citation

Depletes with every vibration

Even without a bus conductor or tuition

We all move our heads in bumpy unison

People stare and utter no words

As the driver hits every curb

With my commute I'm struggling

But getting used to public travelling

Something vexes me as we jolt and jerk

How does the bus driver get to work?

October 4th

We gave Aylesbury a turn, it just didn't blend

But me and you became better friends

More pertinent laughs and tears

Than we'd had in previous years

We managed that year and survived

Came out better on the other side

It was a bold move to just uproot

And partake in a tougher daily commute

We did it and it made us stronger

It gave me less hours to love you longer

But you give me accuracy and precision

And confidence in each decision

Another step and more positive stroking

Was needed as we moved to Woking

Surrey came easier than our prior address

With you there to divide my stress

We got off to treacherous beginnings

But you were the strength, the underpinning

Another move may be on the cards

Another town, more moving scars

You put up with imperfectly me

And pack my boxes so correctly

Without you and your cold feet

'The year of the Gav' would be incomplete

These moves will soon come to an end

And I can settle with my true best friend

October 3rd

Something so positive, is having an alternate effect

Leading to anxiety and normal life neglect

My poise and disposition

Are not use to winning position

In another life I'd have quit long ago

But now I'm getting used to my daily flow

It’s breaking me slightly inside

Another day and another word died

If my book is featured on 'just a minute'

Without repetition I wouldn't win it

I'm running out of things to say

But carry on in that new Gav way

I've done so well throughout the year

And now my arse has slipped out of gear

I look around at my inspirations

And all there applied dedication

The blog is being hit very regularly

Big thanks to all friends and family

This is my great lesson taught

If only they were books bought

It’s not hard work writing in rhyme

It’s hardly a day shift down a mine

I'm growing more than I ever have

It's turning in to a good year of the Gav