After another fart-a-thon and my regular snore
It is the morning after the night before
Loud music, bright lights and one night lovers
Nonsense sped up versions, mixes and ridiculous covers
Graham was happy with his made up new look
Pictures are available on his page on facebook
Karting great fun but first place out of my reach
So we headed to the Big One on the pleasurable pleasure beach
Fantastic fun with great friends, a time hard to beat
Oh and we saw Steve the taxi driver filming for Coronation Street
Blackpool isn’t somewhere I choose especially out of season
But we were there for Graham which was the main reason
But Blackpool holds some memories of our short time there
Steve and Tim’s moisturiser and them straightening each other’s hair
Thanks to you for a great time old pool of black
In my mind you will always stay, I don t think I’ll be rushing back
Tuesday 29 March 2011
March 26th
Woke up in Blackpool at an ungodly hour
Wandered around looking for the tower
People turning up for breakfast looking like death
Zombie eyes heavy heads with acute morning breath
Started drinking at six and finished at four
No complaints as roommates fart and I snore
We went to a remote wasteland and shot each other madly
Exciting game, hunt the stag, he got bruising quite badly
Headed back out on the town all blokey and primate
Night club hotspot was the world famous Syndicate
Walking around again directionless asking woman and man
‘Is this the way to Syndicate’? We all jumped into the van
A seven-seater with twelve men in, but is this all of us?
Everyone was in the van but we’d forgotten little Russ
In the nightclub we bundled, it wouldn’t have been a choice of mine
Being handed pints and shots but craving a nice glass of wine
The vibrant club with lights and music, shining and booming in my head
Having a nice time but feeling old and longing for my bed.
Wandered around looking for the tower
People turning up for breakfast looking like death
Zombie eyes heavy heads with acute morning breath
Started drinking at six and finished at four
No complaints as roommates fart and I snore
We went to a remote wasteland and shot each other madly
Exciting game, hunt the stag, he got bruising quite badly
Headed back out on the town all blokey and primate
Night club hotspot was the world famous Syndicate
Walking around again directionless asking woman and man
‘Is this the way to Syndicate’? We all jumped into the van
A seven-seater with twelve men in, but is this all of us?
Everyone was in the van but we’d forgotten little Russ
In the nightclub we bundled, it wouldn’t have been a choice of mine
Being handed pints and shots but craving a nice glass of wine
The vibrant club with lights and music, shining and booming in my head
Having a nice time but feeling old and longing for my bed.
March 25th
And so with three days off, I’m heading to Blackpool
With stag in tow, holiday, proper old school
Planning started a month back, I started to look around
Got a return to Walsall for just twenty six pound
Wife off from work, so she didn’t go to Cobham
I arrived at London Euston with no problem
On a virgin train, I hope it goes all the way
Started off in coach H and I was in coach A
I was wondering as I boarded the engine
If my neighbour would be happy or constantly whinging
Would they take up much room or would they be polite
My prayers were answer, as on her note pad she began to write
Quite compact on this train, storage a real kerfuffle
Empty seat next to me filled by artist Emily Ruffle
Being the Year of the Gav, I struck up conversation
Not really like me I would normally fold in hesitation
People are good and genuinely nice
Next time I don’t think I’ll think twice
Met by Graham and Tim upon my Walsall arriving
In the Car to Blackpool, and somehow I end up driving
In the days of technology with satellite correction
We ended up struggling round to Brians directions
Was it left to the pleasure beach or right by the sea?
If only there was a landmark for everybody to see
Started on the beer, then more and food a-plenty
A chilli burger and chips for just three pound twenty
Back to the hotel and then out for high jinks and a gag
Would like to tell you more, but what goes on, stays on the stag
With stag in tow, holiday, proper old school
Planning started a month back, I started to look around
Got a return to Walsall for just twenty six pound
Wife off from work, so she didn’t go to Cobham
I arrived at London Euston with no problem
On a virgin train, I hope it goes all the way
Started off in coach H and I was in coach A
I was wondering as I boarded the engine
If my neighbour would be happy or constantly whinging
Would they take up much room or would they be polite
My prayers were answer, as on her note pad she began to write
Quite compact on this train, storage a real kerfuffle
Empty seat next to me filled by artist Emily Ruffle
Being the Year of the Gav, I struck up conversation
Not really like me I would normally fold in hesitation
People are good and genuinely nice
Next time I don’t think I’ll think twice
Met by Graham and Tim upon my Walsall arriving
In the Car to Blackpool, and somehow I end up driving
In the days of technology with satellite correction
We ended up struggling round to Brians directions
Was it left to the pleasure beach or right by the sea?
If only there was a landmark for everybody to see
Started on the beer, then more and food a-plenty
A chilli burger and chips for just three pound twenty
Back to the hotel and then out for high jinks and a gag
Would like to tell you more, but what goes on, stays on the stag
March 24th
Isn’t it funny how things turn out?
Play on your mind and cause you some doubt
A man at work who made all the dramas
Has been caught and calmed by our friend Karma
He created a hole, in to which he fell
But I still shook his hand and wished him well
Why do I react this way, all proper and polite?
He continually made my working days an uphill fight
I helped him out many times, a literal thankless task
All I wanted was a little gratitude, is that too much to ask?
I thought I would act differently, and think he had it coming
But seeing him with regretful eyes was positively humbling
He shook me firmly by the hand and thanked me graciously
Said he’d miss me, keep in touch, he enjoyed my company
Did I miss something, make it up, I was beginning to question
He liked me but treated me badly, a peculiar suggestion
Maybe you see things differently when it’s been taken away
I feel proud to have kept my cool during the toughest days
So someone else will come along to take his place
I will continue to hold myself with my innate grace
Everybody’s equal has always been my motto
But you pay the price when you enter life’s lotto
Still in my ears Dave’s words still sound
The world is round, what goes around comes around
Play on your mind and cause you some doubt
A man at work who made all the dramas
Has been caught and calmed by our friend Karma
He created a hole, in to which he fell
But I still shook his hand and wished him well
Why do I react this way, all proper and polite?
He continually made my working days an uphill fight
I helped him out many times, a literal thankless task
All I wanted was a little gratitude, is that too much to ask?
I thought I would act differently, and think he had it coming
But seeing him with regretful eyes was positively humbling
He shook me firmly by the hand and thanked me graciously
Said he’d miss me, keep in touch, he enjoyed my company
Did I miss something, make it up, I was beginning to question
He liked me but treated me badly, a peculiar suggestion
Maybe you see things differently when it’s been taken away
I feel proud to have kept my cool during the toughest days
So someone else will come along to take his place
I will continue to hold myself with my innate grace
Everybody’s equal has always been my motto
But you pay the price when you enter life’s lotto
Still in my ears Dave’s words still sound
The world is round, what goes around comes around
March 23rd
Another afternoon shift, so lazy morning starts
Contemplating what life would be like with a career in the arts
Second meeting next week, what to think or say
Its only me that I can be, I’ll do it the Gav’s way
Choices we have to make if we were to change
When your life is in a box, it’s easier to rearrange
Things I’ve miss, and would love again, whenever we are able
A second bedroom for our guests and a dining table
I want to put festival posters up and pictures of the family
I want to get my tool box out and act all super manly
What am I saying! For decoration I have no eye
I did fit a bathroom once but I can’t stand D.I.Y
Thinking about house we’ve sold, my memories harden
I would like a kitchen window looking over my new garden
I loved my poppy and my potted plants and grass
Although hated weeding a mowing was a farce
The agent selling the house phoned me in the flat
‘I know you said NO Pets, but this lady has a cat’
I know that I am new to this and my understanding is minimal
But specifying NO pets in the house goes for any animal!
Estate agents get on my nerve, ineptitude is getting old
This man is trying to rent my house, the one that he’s just sold
My annoyance compounded further by him just being stupid
By telling me, ‘in the housing world I’m a bit like Cupid!’
Contemplating what life would be like with a career in the arts
Second meeting next week, what to think or say
Its only me that I can be, I’ll do it the Gav’s way
Choices we have to make if we were to change
When your life is in a box, it’s easier to rearrange
Things I’ve miss, and would love again, whenever we are able
A second bedroom for our guests and a dining table
I want to put festival posters up and pictures of the family
I want to get my tool box out and act all super manly
What am I saying! For decoration I have no eye
I did fit a bathroom once but I can’t stand D.I.Y
Thinking about house we’ve sold, my memories harden
I would like a kitchen window looking over my new garden
I loved my poppy and my potted plants and grass
Although hated weeding a mowing was a farce
The agent selling the house phoned me in the flat
‘I know you said NO Pets, but this lady has a cat’
I know that I am new to this and my understanding is minimal
But specifying NO pets in the house goes for any animal!
Estate agents get on my nerve, ineptitude is getting old
This man is trying to rent my house, the one that he’s just sold
My annoyance compounded further by him just being stupid
By telling me, ‘in the housing world I’m a bit like Cupid!’
March 22nd
Another late, another morning, another day
This week is turning out okay
Work is fine, nothing much to report
The sun is out, its spring, but the summer sort
The end of the week will not come quick enough
Got things planned, Stag do and theatre, good stuff
A few more forms regarding the house sale
Tick boxes, lick envelopes back in the mail
Looking in the local areas for somewhere to buy
No rush we’ll take our time, we’ll look and try
A flat, a house or a maisonette
Keep options open, not decided yet
Wife returns early as owed some time
So at lunch together we get to dine
My turn in the kitchen and what to make
Mmm chilli rice with two different fish cakes
Plates are cleared and juices supped
Barely had time to do the washing up
Drive into work, in the car, what a luxury
Normally get the bus and a big man sits next to me
Now I understand one of Karen’s chores
I always get the smelly one or the one that snores
Get in from work and wife is in bed already
So I sit down to see what I’d recorded off the telly
Got a film to watch, which gives me something to do
It’s Matt Damon in a film I’ve not seen, Bourne Part two
This week is turning out okay
Work is fine, nothing much to report
The sun is out, its spring, but the summer sort
The end of the week will not come quick enough
Got things planned, Stag do and theatre, good stuff
A few more forms regarding the house sale
Tick boxes, lick envelopes back in the mail
Looking in the local areas for somewhere to buy
No rush we’ll take our time, we’ll look and try
A flat, a house or a maisonette
Keep options open, not decided yet
Wife returns early as owed some time
So at lunch together we get to dine
My turn in the kitchen and what to make
Mmm chilli rice with two different fish cakes
Plates are cleared and juices supped
Barely had time to do the washing up
Drive into work, in the car, what a luxury
Normally get the bus and a big man sits next to me
Now I understand one of Karen’s chores
I always get the smelly one or the one that snores
Get in from work and wife is in bed already
So I sit down to see what I’d recorded off the telly
Got a film to watch, which gives me something to do
It’s Matt Damon in a film I’ve not seen, Bourne Part two
March 21st
Morning off as I’m in work later
To the fridge to see what food I can cater
For breakfast, yoghurt with a corner of fruit
Then toast for lunch with an egg to boot
Wander down to Woking to catch the bus
People going about their business with minimum of fuss
Listening to new music like the Black Keys
The December-ists the vaccines and of course the Bees
It gets you through the day humming a tune
Music in your mind can fill an empty room
Keeps your mind active and keeps you going
Makes time pass without you knowing
The end of the week will bring something blokey
Paintball, Karting drinking and probably Karaoke
Grahams stag doo in Blackpool
It’ll probably be freezing but definitely cool
Looking forward to my journey up there
Especially due to my discounted fare
Spent the morning trying to finalise lawyers for legality
Someone to take care of the house paperwork for me
So the house is sold, all being well
Looking around at what others have to sell
It won’t be a mansion, but it’ll be ours
So we can decorate with borders and flowers
Of course I’ll have a say in decorating the property
Then Karen will tell me how to do it properly
To the fridge to see what food I can cater
For breakfast, yoghurt with a corner of fruit
Then toast for lunch with an egg to boot
Wander down to Woking to catch the bus
People going about their business with minimum of fuss
Listening to new music like the Black Keys
The December-ists the vaccines and of course the Bees
It gets you through the day humming a tune
Music in your mind can fill an empty room
Keeps your mind active and keeps you going
Makes time pass without you knowing
The end of the week will bring something blokey
Paintball, Karting drinking and probably Karaoke
Grahams stag doo in Blackpool
It’ll probably be freezing but definitely cool
Looking forward to my journey up there
Especially due to my discounted fare
Spent the morning trying to finalise lawyers for legality
Someone to take care of the house paperwork for me
So the house is sold, all being well
Looking around at what others have to sell
It won’t be a mansion, but it’ll be ours
So we can decorate with borders and flowers
Of course I’ll have a say in decorating the property
Then Karen will tell me how to do it properly
Monday 21 March 2011
March 20th
Sunday Sunday, and Wifey off for a second time
I leave for work, from peace to busier climes
Back in by three or three thirty- ish
A second helping this week of chips, this time with fish
Spoke to Tommy about Bootleg Toronto and New York
Our one way Bootleg journey starts to fork
Loads of ideas for upcoming meetings
Larger venues with bigger screens and comfy seatings
He’s started to think that bigger is better
But he’ll need help from his head movie vetter
The film festival is moving up a peg
Look out world, here comes International Bootleg
I leave for work, from peace to busier climes
Back in by three or three thirty- ish
A second helping this week of chips, this time with fish
Spoke to Tommy about Bootleg Toronto and New York
Our one way Bootleg journey starts to fork
Loads of ideas for upcoming meetings
Larger venues with bigger screens and comfy seatings
He’s started to think that bigger is better
But he’ll need help from his head movie vetter
The film festival is moving up a peg
Look out world, here comes International Bootleg
March 19th
Early to work, leave wife tucked up in bed like a sausage
She didn’t rise until eleven and had an answer machine message
When she returned the call to the number in the phone
Good news, someone wanted to buy our home
Selling our home comes as a great relief
And now into a new venture we can sink our teeth
Choosing a house, our brains start itching
Hopefully somewhere with a new bathroom and kitchen
And maybe a garden where I can put a gnome
Or just something that we may call home
It’s such a great thing, I think I could cry
Especially when I think of all the D.I.Y
She didn’t rise until eleven and had an answer machine message
When she returned the call to the number in the phone
Good news, someone wanted to buy our home
Selling our home comes as a great relief
And now into a new venture we can sink our teeth
Choosing a house, our brains start itching
Hopefully somewhere with a new bathroom and kitchen
And maybe a garden where I can put a gnome
Or just something that we may call home
It’s such a great thing, I think I could cry
Especially when I think of all the D.I.Y
March 18th
A nice gentle morning all alone in the flat
Chilling out laying back, not doing this or that
A morning being busy with nothing at all
On the playstation with virtual football
Not even done the washing up yet
Sipping my tea, is this as good as it gets?
Jog pants on, real lazing in style
Then ringing and vibrating from my mobile
I’m nearby, shall I come round says my sister
Bringing my niece and nephew, how could I resist her?
If there’s a prize for speed tidying, I’d win it
Got my whole mornings work done in the space of ten minutes
They turn up and although the kids are small
They go at the place like the proverbial bull
I love these guys so this might seem petty
But they do leave bogeys on my settee
We had fun bouncing on my bed and playing guitars
Eating our pizza and watching the DVD of ‘Cars’
Running around and making loads of noise
William suggested that I should get some actual toys
Neve was beautiful, on her best behaviour
And we got no complaints from the neighbour
Brilliant kids, seeing them is so much fun
Speaking to Jo about our Dad and our Mum
I love them to bits, for them I’d do anything at all
But I might pretend to be out the next time they call
Chilling out laying back, not doing this or that
A morning being busy with nothing at all
On the playstation with virtual football
Not even done the washing up yet
Sipping my tea, is this as good as it gets?
Jog pants on, real lazing in style
Then ringing and vibrating from my mobile
I’m nearby, shall I come round says my sister
Bringing my niece and nephew, how could I resist her?
If there’s a prize for speed tidying, I’d win it
Got my whole mornings work done in the space of ten minutes
They turn up and although the kids are small
They go at the place like the proverbial bull
I love these guys so this might seem petty
But they do leave bogeys on my settee
We had fun bouncing on my bed and playing guitars
Eating our pizza and watching the DVD of ‘Cars’
Running around and making loads of noise
William suggested that I should get some actual toys
Neve was beautiful, on her best behaviour
And we got no complaints from the neighbour
Brilliant kids, seeing them is so much fun
Speaking to Jo about our Dad and our Mum
I love them to bits, for them I’d do anything at all
But I might pretend to be out the next time they call
March 17th
Under the covers and in bed I stay
As I wake up late on St. Patricks day
Felt tired most days, even tried counting sheep
But feeling better today as I have caught up with my sleep
Started to think about all the things I have
And if this is really the year of the Gav
When the phone rang and offered a second meeting
A welcome change met with a happy greeting
No movement on house, but it’s not been a week yet
Since we started fishing with our property net
A little island cottage all snug and pretty
Love my house but what I love more is equity
Wife came back from a working morning
I was sat in my house pants yawning
She wanted to go out, a little against my will
All grumpy and moody, the mood I did kill
But after the walk had cleared my mind and mood
We walked to St John’s and bought some healthy food
Chips with a Savaloy, Is the dinner I bought her
Then we wandered back along the water
Got back in and chilled out some more
Hot water on and put the chain on the door
Relaxing down to sleep to get some clarity
But on the box is Chris Moyles doing his bit for charity
He’s going to keep going for fifty two hours non-stop
But by two thirty my eyes start to drop
Good luck Chris Moyles, a great little scheme
My thoughts will be with you, whilst I sleep perchance to dream
As I wake up late on St. Patricks day
Felt tired most days, even tried counting sheep
But feeling better today as I have caught up with my sleep
Started to think about all the things I have
And if this is really the year of the Gav
When the phone rang and offered a second meeting
A welcome change met with a happy greeting
No movement on house, but it’s not been a week yet
Since we started fishing with our property net
A little island cottage all snug and pretty
Love my house but what I love more is equity
Wife came back from a working morning
I was sat in my house pants yawning
She wanted to go out, a little against my will
All grumpy and moody, the mood I did kill
But after the walk had cleared my mind and mood
We walked to St John’s and bought some healthy food
Chips with a Savaloy, Is the dinner I bought her
Then we wandered back along the water
Got back in and chilled out some more
Hot water on and put the chain on the door
Relaxing down to sleep to get some clarity
But on the box is Chris Moyles doing his bit for charity
He’s going to keep going for fifty two hours non-stop
But by two thirty my eyes start to drop
Good luck Chris Moyles, a great little scheme
My thoughts will be with you, whilst I sleep perchance to dream
Thursday 17 March 2011
March 16th
Today was weird, really confused by sleep
Dreamt I was like Sam from Quantum Leap
It hit me hard, a bit of a shock
Hands have stopped on my body clock
Come back from work and hit the hay
But slept for two hours then up for the day
Those who works nights should be admired
Drained all day, feeling really tired
Never have trouble with sleep intervention
But when closing my eyes there is some mystic prevention
No plans to go out, so wind up staying in
Although I did have a quick trip to the bin
Dreamt of him earlier so caught up with ‘Leap’
Had to rewind as drifted in and out of sleep
Chips in wedge form and mayonnaise in dollops
Homemade breadcrumbs with coconut around pork escallops
Chris Moyles has started his radio marathon
For a good cause Chris will go on and on
Just to stop me from getting bored
I watched Karl Pilkington’s – An Idiot Abroad
Very funny travel, but not a vacation
In his eyes you can see his Gervais frustration
Love Film sent me episodes one to four
So will complete my viewing when they send me more
Another long day off laid out in front of me
Tomorrow I’m staying in the flat, all in aid of charity
Dreamt I was like Sam from Quantum Leap
It hit me hard, a bit of a shock
Hands have stopped on my body clock
Come back from work and hit the hay
But slept for two hours then up for the day
Those who works nights should be admired
Drained all day, feeling really tired
Never have trouble with sleep intervention
But when closing my eyes there is some mystic prevention
No plans to go out, so wind up staying in
Although I did have a quick trip to the bin
Dreamt of him earlier so caught up with ‘Leap’
Had to rewind as drifted in and out of sleep
Chips in wedge form and mayonnaise in dollops
Homemade breadcrumbs with coconut around pork escallops
Chris Moyles has started his radio marathon
For a good cause Chris will go on and on
Just to stop me from getting bored
I watched Karl Pilkington’s – An Idiot Abroad
Very funny travel, but not a vacation
In his eyes you can see his Gervais frustration
Love Film sent me episodes one to four
So will complete my viewing when they send me more
Another long day off laid out in front of me
Tomorrow I’m staying in the flat, all in aid of charity
March 15th
Wife and I have a day off together on the streets
Spent into Guildford, between my sleeps
Popped into ‘Jamie’s’ which is becoming a good habit
And for the very first time, I tried rabbit
Had a wander, made up our own tour
Then came back and I was in bed by four
These nights have put my brain on the blink
Trying to get my arse and elbow back in sync
A great visit to Jamie’s, I am very grateful
Probably my favourite place to get a plateful
Ate the lot, left nothing to waste
Its how really good food should taste
Tommy forwarded my story to one of his mates
Hoping she’ll like it and want to illustrate
Tommy is pushing he doesn’t miss a trick
He said it’s not just a book but maybe a short kid’s flick
If anyone can do it, I’m sure Tommy can
I trust him implicitly, the man with a plan
House is up for rent or maybe even be sold
So we can afford to retire when we get old
New plans on the horizon wait in anticipation
New theatre, new chance and maybe new vocation
Had a lovely time at lunch today
Came straight home and on the bed I lay
Got to sleep so I can work through the night
But two days off next time I see the light
Spent into Guildford, between my sleeps
Popped into ‘Jamie’s’ which is becoming a good habit
And for the very first time, I tried rabbit
Had a wander, made up our own tour
Then came back and I was in bed by four
These nights have put my brain on the blink
Trying to get my arse and elbow back in sync
A great visit to Jamie’s, I am very grateful
Probably my favourite place to get a plateful
Ate the lot, left nothing to waste
Its how really good food should taste
Tommy forwarded my story to one of his mates
Hoping she’ll like it and want to illustrate
Tommy is pushing he doesn’t miss a trick
He said it’s not just a book but maybe a short kid’s flick
If anyone can do it, I’m sure Tommy can
I trust him implicitly, the man with a plan
House is up for rent or maybe even be sold
So we can afford to retire when we get old
New plans on the horizon wait in anticipation
New theatre, new chance and maybe new vocation
Had a lovely time at lunch today
Came straight home and on the bed I lay
Got to sleep so I can work through the night
But two days off next time I see the light
March 14th
Writing ability gone from big to small
I’m struggling to write anything at all
Working at night is quite exciting
But it’s not helping my creative writing
In to work starting at pm eleven
Right through the night until seven
Up with the weirdoes and the night creepers
Longing for home, to become a day sleeper
Working at nights has its ups, plus sides
But you have to cross the tired divide
Find myself walking and being the porter
Trying to stay awake by drinking loads of water
Yawning more as the sun stays away
I’m glad I don’t do things every day
It’s not the job I thought it would be
And my bed is defiantly calling me
Access to Room service food, help yourselves
But make sure you don’t empty the shelves
So to the kitchen I roll and I get my make on
Ciabatta with chicken avocado and bacon
Four am, so time for my lunch break
Finding it difficult staying awake
Birds start singing; it’s time for them to rise
The rings getting darker around my eyes
Up since yesterday, I must look a sight
At least it's only for one more night
I’m struggling to write anything at all
Working at night is quite exciting
But it’s not helping my creative writing
In to work starting at pm eleven
Right through the night until seven
Up with the weirdoes and the night creepers
Longing for home, to become a day sleeper
Working at nights has its ups, plus sides
But you have to cross the tired divide
Find myself walking and being the porter
Trying to stay awake by drinking loads of water
Yawning more as the sun stays away
I’m glad I don’t do things every day
It’s not the job I thought it would be
And my bed is defiantly calling me
Access to Room service food, help yourselves
But make sure you don’t empty the shelves
So to the kitchen I roll and I get my make on
Ciabatta with chicken avocado and bacon
Four am, so time for my lunch break
Finding it difficult staying awake
Birds start singing; it’s time for them to rise
The rings getting darker around my eyes
Up since yesterday, I must look a sight
At least it's only for one more night
March 13th
Working early Sunday and something weird happened
Asked to work nights which means a messed up sleep pattern
Really busy at work so have to check for any mistakes
Didn’t get to take my last two lunch breaks
It was one of those things, what you going to do
It was offered to me as time off in lieu
The semi finals are selected and we know the line up
Hopefully we’ll get to the Manchester Cup
Looking forward to Wembley, happening soon
Will the reds be devils or will it be a blue moon?
Asked to work nights which means a messed up sleep pattern
Really busy at work so have to check for any mistakes
Didn’t get to take my last two lunch breaks
It was one of those things, what you going to do
It was offered to me as time off in lieu
The semi finals are selected and we know the line up
Hopefully we’ll get to the Manchester Cup
Looking forward to Wembley, happening soon
Will the reds be devils or will it be a blue moon?
Sunday 13 March 2011
March 12th
Saturday morning and its work where I’m at
With hangovers, in the restaurant the guests are sat
They went out last night and had a skin full
Breakfast until ten and out by midday that’s the rule
Most checked out but a few rules ignored
From frozen drunk they are not yet thawed
Rotas not finished which will damage esteem
So I offered to help and will being joining the night team
So an early shift tomorrow and then two nights
When they ask me for help, I’m more than polite
It’ll be nice to catch up with nights, when I see them
I hope it’s like that film Night at the Museum
With hangovers, in the restaurant the guests are sat
They went out last night and had a skin full
Breakfast until ten and out by midday that’s the rule
Most checked out but a few rules ignored
From frozen drunk they are not yet thawed
Rotas not finished which will damage esteem
So I offered to help and will being joining the night team
So an early shift tomorrow and then two nights
When they ask me for help, I’m more than polite
It’ll be nice to catch up with nights, when I see them
I hope it’s like that film Night at the Museum
March 11th
Wifey was of, so in the morning was led
To Guildford to pick out a brand new bed
Don’t know what we want, standard or grand
Or one with storage or just a regular divan
Not sure what size, or where it’ll fit
Make our minds up tomorrow, we’ll have to sleep on it
Today’s news has been the Tsunami and Earthquake
Crashing through Japan, taking all in its wake
It put things in perspective, makes life more real
Hopefully people will change, think and feel
But I get into work and the same set mind
‘Er I’d like to complain about my complimentary wine
People amaze me, so blinked and vain
Self centred, narrow-minded, every day the same
I wonder how they would react if it was the other way around
Would they be bothered if their coffee was instant not ground
It makes me feel sorry for some of our species
Aloof and Ignorant to the world’s atrocities
I still find myself nodding and saying ‘I’ll do what I can’
It’s become a habit making excuses for man
If I can take anything anyway, it’ll be some gratitude
Grateful it’ll never be me with that attitude
All men are equal and should be treated accordingly
And to the ones who think that they are more than me,
Maybe you’ll be shaken at the loss of men
And a reality wave will wash over them
To Guildford to pick out a brand new bed
Don’t know what we want, standard or grand
Or one with storage or just a regular divan
Not sure what size, or where it’ll fit
Make our minds up tomorrow, we’ll have to sleep on it
Today’s news has been the Tsunami and Earthquake
Crashing through Japan, taking all in its wake
It put things in perspective, makes life more real
Hopefully people will change, think and feel
But I get into work and the same set mind
‘Er I’d like to complain about my complimentary wine
People amaze me, so blinked and vain
Self centred, narrow-minded, every day the same
I wonder how they would react if it was the other way around
Would they be bothered if their coffee was instant not ground
It makes me feel sorry for some of our species
Aloof and Ignorant to the world’s atrocities
I still find myself nodding and saying ‘I’ll do what I can’
It’s become a habit making excuses for man
If I can take anything anyway, it’ll be some gratitude
Grateful it’ll never be me with that attitude
All men are equal and should be treated accordingly
And to the ones who think that they are more than me,
Maybe you’ll be shaken at the loss of men
And a reality wave will wash over them
March 10th
So Wife’s bonus arrived today, and we had a talk
You can go to Spain for Rock-tober or to New York
Didn’t want to let my sister down or see her weep
But I've chosen to go to the city that never sleeps
New York New York, here we come soon
Where Jay-Z raps and Ol’ blue eyes croons
I am so looking forward, I really can’t wait
Going to get drunk in New York, wow, what a State!
Looking forward to Central Park and all the young Americans
Maybe seeing some bands like Photon with Gillian
I’ve heard New York is just like a film set
I’m going to be a shark when I get off that jet
It’s where a Ghostbusters haunting did occur
It's where Leo Bloom became a producer
It’s where Kurt Russell tried to escape from
And Dustin as Tootsie was a convincing woman
Its where Three men had a baby to host
It’s where Whoopi spoke through Swayze’s Ghost
It’s where Sally fell for Harry and who could blame her
It’s where we got caught in a messy divorce with the Kramer’s
Requiem for a dream and other such epiphanies
It’s where Hannibal had his Breakfast at Tiffany’s
It’s where Gordon Gekko had his first and final
It’s where Tom and Marta played out their Vinyl
So New York here we come, my flag is unfurled
Get ready for the Odd couple and my own Funny Girl
You can go to Spain for Rock-tober or to New York
Didn’t want to let my sister down or see her weep
But I've chosen to go to the city that never sleeps
New York New York, here we come soon
Where Jay-Z raps and Ol’ blue eyes croons
I am so looking forward, I really can’t wait
Going to get drunk in New York, wow, what a State!
Looking forward to Central Park and all the young Americans
Maybe seeing some bands like Photon with Gillian
I’ve heard New York is just like a film set
I’m going to be a shark when I get off that jet
It’s where a Ghostbusters haunting did occur
It's where Leo Bloom became a producer
It’s where Kurt Russell tried to escape from
And Dustin as Tootsie was a convincing woman
Its where Three men had a baby to host
It’s where Whoopi spoke through Swayze’s Ghost
It’s where Sally fell for Harry and who could blame her
It’s where we got caught in a messy divorce with the Kramer’s
Requiem for a dream and other such epiphanies
It’s where Hannibal had his Breakfast at Tiffany’s
It’s where Gordon Gekko had his first and final
It’s where Tom and Marta played out their Vinyl
So New York here we come, my flag is unfurled
Get ready for the Odd couple and my own Funny Girl
March 9th
It came with a two year manufacture guarantee
As long as you empty the crumb tray regularly
After I’m done with removing the protective surroundings
I’m reading up on the uniform browning
It’s the epitome of domestic science
But don’t touch the top or sides of appliance
From the entire range this was chosen
It has buttons for reheat, cancel and frozen
I’ve read the instructions, so now, I’m the teacher
I own the ‘Bread carriage with high tilt feature
Do not use on an uneven surface
And only use for intended purpose
I went straight for it, that’s the way I roll
Played around with the browning control
Put down four slices directly from the freezer
Smoke alarm sounded, I nearly had seizure
Never tried cooking four slices at once before
My old two-er machine mocking me from the floor
There is a new toaster in town to take your place
But we will keep you as a spare just in case
It’s great for snacks anytime mostly
Even stale bread is nice when toasty
I think of my first toast experience now and then
But will never have to have Peckham toast again
As long as you empty the crumb tray regularly
After I’m done with removing the protective surroundings
I’m reading up on the uniform browning
It’s the epitome of domestic science
But don’t touch the top or sides of appliance
From the entire range this was chosen
It has buttons for reheat, cancel and frozen
I’ve read the instructions, so now, I’m the teacher
I own the ‘Bread carriage with high tilt feature
Do not use on an uneven surface
And only use for intended purpose
I went straight for it, that’s the way I roll
Played around with the browning control
Put down four slices directly from the freezer
Smoke alarm sounded, I nearly had seizure
Never tried cooking four slices at once before
My old two-er machine mocking me from the floor
There is a new toaster in town to take your place
But we will keep you as a spare just in case
It’s great for snacks anytime mostly
Even stale bread is nice when toasty
I think of my first toast experience now and then
But will never have to have Peckham toast again
Wednesday 9 March 2011
March 8th
Day off so decided to dip into the think tank
Came up with ‘meet Tom for a bite on the Southbank’
Being a tourist we head to the Modern Tate
Then to The Swan at the Globe for a thespian lunch plate
Thought it might be busy so booked previously
Got to the front desk, they had never heard of me
After a few ums and errs and private f’s and Jeffs
We were seated and shown the specials from the chefs
A risotto for my belly and a red wine for my lips
But even in a posh gaff Tom still orders Burger and chips
But that wasn’t the most popular dish
That was held for the special Chips and Fish
I suppose it’s expected and what the tourists are taught
Although I do have a problem with the sign ‘Locally Caught’
An added twelve point five per cent on the bill, I see
The reason, a service charge for the convenience of me!
I work in the service trade and know how it’s meant
But adding a tip for me I find inconvenient
Instead of British fuming and getting uptight
I chose to act upon my statutory rights
‘I would like this removed’ I tell the waiter
‘Not a problem sir’, ‘Thank you and see you later’
So great to catch up with Tom, best of friends
I even carried his bag along the Thames
Said bye to Tom as of to the south by southwest festival he went
I headed home to give up things for lent
The knots in my mind once again undone
That’s the joy of living so close to London
Came up with ‘meet Tom for a bite on the Southbank’
Being a tourist we head to the Modern Tate
Then to The Swan at the Globe for a thespian lunch plate
Thought it might be busy so booked previously
Got to the front desk, they had never heard of me
After a few ums and errs and private f’s and Jeffs
We were seated and shown the specials from the chefs
A risotto for my belly and a red wine for my lips
But even in a posh gaff Tom still orders Burger and chips
But that wasn’t the most popular dish
That was held for the special Chips and Fish
I suppose it’s expected and what the tourists are taught
Although I do have a problem with the sign ‘Locally Caught’
An added twelve point five per cent on the bill, I see
The reason, a service charge for the convenience of me!
I work in the service trade and know how it’s meant
But adding a tip for me I find inconvenient
Instead of British fuming and getting uptight
I chose to act upon my statutory rights
‘I would like this removed’ I tell the waiter
‘Not a problem sir’, ‘Thank you and see you later’
So great to catch up with Tom, best of friends
I even carried his bag along the Thames
Said bye to Tom as of to the south by southwest festival he went
I headed home to give up things for lent
The knots in my mind once again undone
That’s the joy of living so close to London
March 7th
As we drive into work words of Lenny still inspiring
I thought of how well he had done and how much I admired him
A fantastic idea, a biographical show
Filling in the parts that others did not know
Of how and why he came to our attention
Of all the stories previously unmentioned
It’s got me thinking that maybe he’s right
You should listen to the music you love day and night
Music is strong it can trigger lost memories
‘Love is the drug’ and other such remedies
I look back now and music makes me remember
Of bright taxi lights and burning barbeque embers
Whenever I hear that song my mind responds
Pink Floyds ‘Shine on you crazy diamond’
Camping during the summer, memories held dear
With Uncle, Aunty and friends & ‘I wish you were here’
Different sights, sounds, smells and foods
Equal the first time I heard ‘All the young dudes’
Our lives are so busy, complex and confusing
It can all be relieved by musical interluding
So parents take heed from Lenny Henry
Dance everyday and sing with your family
Something else, quite profound, that Lenny said
Every day love your music or you might as well be dead
An interesting mantra to which I sort of agree
That’s why I’m dusting off my Kate bush LP
I thought of how well he had done and how much I admired him
A fantastic idea, a biographical show
Filling in the parts that others did not know
Of how and why he came to our attention
Of all the stories previously unmentioned
It’s got me thinking that maybe he’s right
You should listen to the music you love day and night
Music is strong it can trigger lost memories
‘Love is the drug’ and other such remedies
I look back now and music makes me remember
Of bright taxi lights and burning barbeque embers
Whenever I hear that song my mind responds
Pink Floyds ‘Shine on you crazy diamond’
Camping during the summer, memories held dear
With Uncle, Aunty and friends & ‘I wish you were here’
Different sights, sounds, smells and foods
Equal the first time I heard ‘All the young dudes’
Our lives are so busy, complex and confusing
It can all be relieved by musical interluding
So parents take heed from Lenny Henry
Dance everyday and sing with your family
Something else, quite profound, that Lenny said
Every day love your music or you might as well be dead
An interesting mantra to which I sort of agree
That’s why I’m dusting off my Kate bush LP
March 6th
Working in the morning but come the evening when we,
Went to Woking theatre to see Lenny Henry
He came on shaking, quite nervous at the start
Then he settled down and delivered from the heart
A biography on stage we were told of friend and foe
Of memories triggered by music, and a baby grand piano
Lenny took us on the rollercoaster that has been his life
Told us of Disco and Soul and differences with wife
The girls were all laughing and so were the guys
He could roll us in the aisle by simply rolling his eyes
He says without music he just feels odd
His whole life contained on one I-pod
Went to Woking theatre to see Lenny Henry
He came on shaking, quite nervous at the start
Then he settled down and delivered from the heart
A biography on stage we were told of friend and foe
Of memories triggered by music, and a baby grand piano
Lenny took us on the rollercoaster that has been his life
Told us of Disco and Soul and differences with wife
The girls were all laughing and so were the guys
He could roll us in the aisle by simply rolling his eyes
He says without music he just feels odd
His whole life contained on one I-pod
Tuesday 8 March 2011
March 5th
Wifey off all weekend but not me
Time together is somewhat of a luxury
Nice morning today. Got time to speak
Breakfast with syrup, must be the start of Pancake Week
Finally got around to watching ‘Inception’
Twisted my melon in every direction
Watched the film and extras and Spoiler Alert!
I couldn’t fall asleep as my brain still hurts
A fantastic film, a great start to the day
It’s nice that most of the crew were from the U.K
I really loved this film, but what does it mean
Must rest my eyes now, ‘To sleep perchance to dream?
Time together is somewhat of a luxury
Nice morning today. Got time to speak
Breakfast with syrup, must be the start of Pancake Week
Finally got around to watching ‘Inception’
Twisted my melon in every direction
Watched the film and extras and Spoiler Alert!
I couldn’t fall asleep as my brain still hurts
A fantastic film, a great start to the day
It’s nice that most of the crew were from the U.K
I really loved this film, but what does it mean
Must rest my eyes now, ‘To sleep perchance to dream?
Saturday 5 March 2011
March 4th
Up at five fifty am, radio is turned on
Absolute fan of the day, they are playing songs
Told ‘be around for six twenty’
Up for an hour but no phone call for me
Went back to sleep, listening still
But eyes close against my will
Pretty tired even after doing nothing
But at least I can breathe without huffing and puffing
When I woke up belly gave a call
Wanting tea, toast and own brand cereal
Got ready for work with a shower and a shave
Having to head back to the place I don’t crave
Lots of people leaving, it’s quite competitive
Due to it being monotonous and repetitive
Difficult to change everything, talking to a wall
Asking many questions, no answers at all
They have power, which is constantly used
We are the minions, downtrodden and abused
It may seem melodramatic that I go on this way
But you don’t have to go back every day
I like some of the people and don’t mind what I do
It’s just managed incorrectly with no getting through
It’s just how I feel; there is no end that I can see
Spoken to like a child, but I'm really thirty three!
Absolute fan of the day, they are playing songs
Told ‘be around for six twenty’
Up for an hour but no phone call for me
Went back to sleep, listening still
But eyes close against my will
Pretty tired even after doing nothing
But at least I can breathe without huffing and puffing
When I woke up belly gave a call
Wanting tea, toast and own brand cereal
Got ready for work with a shower and a shave
Having to head back to the place I don’t crave
Lots of people leaving, it’s quite competitive
Due to it being monotonous and repetitive
Difficult to change everything, talking to a wall
Asking many questions, no answers at all
They have power, which is constantly used
We are the minions, downtrodden and abused
It may seem melodramatic that I go on this way
But you don’t have to go back every day
I like some of the people and don’t mind what I do
It’s just managed incorrectly with no getting through
It’s just how I feel; there is no end that I can see
Spoken to like a child, but I'm really thirty three!
March 3rd
Happy Birthday to my sister who is currently in Spain
She won’t get her card until she comes back again
Wife is only working today until one
So we’ll have to try and get something done
When she arrived it was a destination duel
Do we head to Chertsey or Epsom and Ewell?
All settled as we head to a nice town
To see all the ups and the Epsom downs
Had a wander around Shops and such
Didn’t fancy staying or paying out that much
Drove back to Woking, looking for some grub
Just a little backstreet or country pub
Ended up all the way back in Woking
Decided to grab some food in the Maybury Inn
All in all we used our time nicely
A lamb dish for wife and my risotto all spicy
They had food to sell and I was the buyer
Place a little cold so we snuggled by the fire
Food so good, no need for sauces
Ploughed our way through 3 courses
Pretty lazy were my days off work
I wonder what adventures around the corner lurk
No way of knowing, destiny is not set
That and I don’t have my rota yet
Sunday night stand up in the theatre we’ll be
Watching Cradle to Rave with Lenny Henry
She won’t get her card until she comes back again
Wife is only working today until one
So we’ll have to try and get something done
When she arrived it was a destination duel
Do we head to Chertsey or Epsom and Ewell?
All settled as we head to a nice town
To see all the ups and the Epsom downs
Had a wander around Shops and such
Didn’t fancy staying or paying out that much
Drove back to Woking, looking for some grub
Just a little backstreet or country pub
Ended up all the way back in Woking
Decided to grab some food in the Maybury Inn
All in all we used our time nicely
A lamb dish for wife and my risotto all spicy
They had food to sell and I was the buyer
Place a little cold so we snuggled by the fire
Food so good, no need for sauces
Ploughed our way through 3 courses
Pretty lazy were my days off work
I wonder what adventures around the corner lurk
No way of knowing, destiny is not set
That and I don’t have my rota yet
Sunday night stand up in the theatre we’ll be
Watching Cradle to Rave with Lenny Henry
March 2nd
Time to chill and hopefully recuperate
Staying under the covers until at half past eight
Decided to get up and trawl the internet
To keep up with all the people I’ve ever met
Tweets were good, added comments on pages
Virtually caught up with folk not poked in ages
Entered a competition as an Absolute fan
To take over Friday first hour as the music man
Wrote some words and then wait and see
Got a reply and they picked me!
An important task that I don’t want to get wrong
Sum up your life in twenty songs
It’s been a lazy day, but well deserved and needed
Flu has been fed watered and well treated
Caught up with TV and played playstation
Went online to face the whole nation
The obvious was there for all to see
Having been up early I fell asleep on the settee
Wife phone and said on her way without stopping
After she had filled up car and cupboards with the weekly shopping
She got all the usual stuff of course
But then, out the bag came Guinness HP sauce
It replaces the value brown sauce we have, which sucks,
That’s what happens when you get blue stripped products
A little reminder in case I forget to mention
Email from LoveFilm next film Inception
Staying under the covers until at half past eight
Decided to get up and trawl the internet
To keep up with all the people I’ve ever met
Tweets were good, added comments on pages
Virtually caught up with folk not poked in ages
Entered a competition as an Absolute fan
To take over Friday first hour as the music man
Wrote some words and then wait and see
Got a reply and they picked me!
An important task that I don’t want to get wrong
Sum up your life in twenty songs
It’s been a lazy day, but well deserved and needed
Flu has been fed watered and well treated
Caught up with TV and played playstation
Went online to face the whole nation
The obvious was there for all to see
Having been up early I fell asleep on the settee
Wife phone and said on her way without stopping
After she had filled up car and cupboards with the weekly shopping
She got all the usual stuff of course
But then, out the bag came Guinness HP sauce
It replaces the value brown sauce we have, which sucks,
That’s what happens when you get blue stripped products
A little reminder in case I forget to mention
Email from LoveFilm next film Inception
Thursday 3 March 2011
March 1st
Happy St David’s day to all my welsh clan
I like Wales a lot, used to live there in a caravan
Last day at work before a two day rest
And I literally need to get something off my chest
Illness drags on and it’s now not funny
No one takes you seriously when your nose is runny
Two days off and the way I’ve been feeling
I will be staying in bed and watching the ceiling
Want to try and do something whilst we are both able
Popped to the shops and looked at sales labels
Bought a jumper and nearly a jacket
But didn’t fit properly, looked like a poorly wrapped packet
Football on later so shopping in a hurry
Bought a bottle of wine and a box of curry
Lovely selection, rice, samosa and chicken
I ate all of mine; wife threw hers in the bin
Get to watch the footy with just two minutes gone
Karen watching chick flick with Jennifer Aniston
It wasn’t a film that I could advocate
Bout the true life story behind the Graduate
I watched the Chelsea Manchester meeting
And Fergies boys took a bit of a beating
I still think the reds will avoid the blues
Best team this year, it’s theirs to lose
Struggled once again to my Olbas scented bed
Time to close my eyes and think good thoughts in my head
I like Wales a lot, used to live there in a caravan
Last day at work before a two day rest
And I literally need to get something off my chest
Illness drags on and it’s now not funny
No one takes you seriously when your nose is runny
Two days off and the way I’ve been feeling
I will be staying in bed and watching the ceiling
Want to try and do something whilst we are both able
Popped to the shops and looked at sales labels
Bought a jumper and nearly a jacket
But didn’t fit properly, looked like a poorly wrapped packet
Football on later so shopping in a hurry
Bought a bottle of wine and a box of curry
Lovely selection, rice, samosa and chicken
I ate all of mine; wife threw hers in the bin
Get to watch the footy with just two minutes gone
Karen watching chick flick with Jennifer Aniston
It wasn’t a film that I could advocate
Bout the true life story behind the Graduate
I watched the Chelsea Manchester meeting
And Fergies boys took a bit of a beating
I still think the reds will avoid the blues
Best team this year, it’s theirs to lose
Struggled once again to my Olbas scented bed
Time to close my eyes and think good thoughts in my head
Wednesday 2 March 2011
February 28th
Did work again as my ill week continues
Now have a pocket collection of tissues
Monday very quiet, not much to do
Maybe I’ll try a stand up snooze
Drift into dream world with the greatest of ease
Then DING goes the bell, ’I’d like to check out please’
Works a little random I have no control
So I don’t give it my heart or lend it my soul
We had some nice guest, which made it better
But also difficult ones, they get a standard letter
Asked if I’d like to go out when work ends
You see I do have some Woking friends
So Ben and I hit the Hand & Spear
Started drinking some Japanese beer
After one or two we headed to Woking
Drinks some more and keep on bloking
It was nice to catch up and listen to opinions
To sit and be civil, like normal civilians
Afternoon boozing drains all energy
Replaced by yawns and lethargy
Have just enough energy when I return
To put oven on and give the sausages a quick burn
Bacon ,sausage, and Egg all dribbled on my chin
Just enough time to clean up before Wife comes in
Now have a pocket collection of tissues
Monday very quiet, not much to do
Maybe I’ll try a stand up snooze
Drift into dream world with the greatest of ease
Then DING goes the bell, ’I’d like to check out please’
Works a little random I have no control
So I don’t give it my heart or lend it my soul
We had some nice guest, which made it better
But also difficult ones, they get a standard letter
Asked if I’d like to go out when work ends
You see I do have some Woking friends
So Ben and I hit the Hand & Spear
Started drinking some Japanese beer
After one or two we headed to Woking
Drinks some more and keep on bloking
It was nice to catch up and listen to opinions
To sit and be civil, like normal civilians
Afternoon boozing drains all energy
Replaced by yawns and lethargy
Have just enough energy when I return
To put oven on and give the sausages a quick burn
Bacon ,sausage, and Egg all dribbled on my chin
Just enough time to clean up before Wife comes in
February 27th
Day four of feeling crappy, today I’ve lost my voice
Up early to go to work, didn’t really have a choice
Bunged up, sniffles and struggling to breathe
Constantly blowing nose or cuffing with my sleeve
Got a taxi home when work time was up
Headed back quickly to watch the Carling Cup
Arsenal virtually at home, theirs to take
All was going for them until an amazing mistake
It was good to see Birmingham win, well done to the blues
It was better seeing Arsenal slip up and watching gooners lose
Up early to go to work, didn’t really have a choice
Bunged up, sniffles and struggling to breathe
Constantly blowing nose or cuffing with my sleeve
Got a taxi home when work time was up
Headed back quickly to watch the Carling Cup
Arsenal virtually at home, theirs to take
All was going for them until an amazing mistake
It was good to see Birmingham win, well done to the blues
It was better seeing Arsenal slip up and watching gooners lose
February 26th
If you’ve ever been ill then line up behind me
Welcome to my bungle, feeling ill day three
It’s moved to my nose, which isn’t what I’d pick
I’m not eating much which means I must be sick
Looking forward to seeing Wife, works no winner
Wonder if she might have prepared dinner
Best cure for feeling ill, a nice fresh dish
Ended up going out to buy chips and fish
Of all the chip shops this is the most silly
Savaloy and gherkin wrapped, like presents individually
In time wasting standards this was the height
Good job we had open chips, or we’d have been there all night.
Welcome to my bungle, feeling ill day three
It’s moved to my nose, which isn’t what I’d pick
I’m not eating much which means I must be sick
Looking forward to seeing Wife, works no winner
Wonder if she might have prepared dinner
Best cure for feeling ill, a nice fresh dish
Ended up going out to buy chips and fish
Of all the chip shops this is the most silly
Savaloy and gherkin wrapped, like presents individually
In time wasting standards this was the height
Good job we had open chips, or we’d have been there all night.
February 25th
Woke up feeling gloomy and feeling blue
Contracted Stage One: Man flu
Being ill gets me seething
Making noises with basic breathing
Had a bit of a drama, made a bit of a meal
Wife was sympathetic asking how I feel
I reply errrrrr ummmmm I’m feeling poop
She went down the shops and bought me some soup
Bought me Olbas Oil concealed in tissues
I might be ill, but wife has her own issues
Feeling perky in fine shopping fettle
Spent all our Club card points on a new kettle
Looked all over a real retail rollercoaster
Now she’s on the lookout for a matching toaster
She Googled and tried many different sources
Of the kettle world this is the Porsches
Still feeling groggy like warmed up death
An equal amount of sniffs for every breath
Head all heavy and proper bunged up
Getting Wifey hugs, like a little lost pup
She doesn’t get the same, bedside manner I lack
Last time she was sick, I didn’t even hold her hair back
When it comes to being ill, my Wife is better than me
And she really has enjoyed make me cups of tea
Contracted Stage One: Man flu
Being ill gets me seething
Making noises with basic breathing
Had a bit of a drama, made a bit of a meal
Wife was sympathetic asking how I feel
I reply errrrrr ummmmm I’m feeling poop
She went down the shops and bought me some soup
Bought me Olbas Oil concealed in tissues
I might be ill, but wife has her own issues
Feeling perky in fine shopping fettle
Spent all our Club card points on a new kettle
Looked all over a real retail rollercoaster
Now she’s on the lookout for a matching toaster
She Googled and tried many different sources
Of the kettle world this is the Porsches
Still feeling groggy like warmed up death
An equal amount of sniffs for every breath
Head all heavy and proper bunged up
Getting Wifey hugs, like a little lost pup
She doesn’t get the same, bedside manner I lack
Last time she was sick, I didn’t even hold her hair back
When it comes to being ill, my Wife is better than me
And she really has enjoyed make me cups of tea
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