May 26th

I'd sell my Gran, I'd sell a kidney

If you said you had a ticket to give me

I'd be your best friend you'd always remember me

If you could just sneak me into Wembley

I'd flog my C.D's or go with you on a date

If you could let me through that special gate

I'd be your boyfriend even turn a little gay

If you could get me in on cup final day

I'd look after your kids and regularly babysit

If I could be there live to actually watch it

I'd steal a car, I'd commit any crime

If you could get me a seat on the halfway line

I'd buy you a cottage and its roof I'll thatch

If you just tell me I can watch the match

I'd do science experiments and swallow radium

If you say you'll let me into the stadium

I'd pose naked with grapes I would lay

If you get me in from Wembley way

I'd love you forever even get a tattoo

If you tell me there's a seat just next to you

I'd become a gymnast and do the rings and beams

If I could be there live to watch the teams

I'd scratch your back whenever you have an itch

If I could be there and touch the pitch

But unfortunately unless your name is Pele

You have to stay at home and watch it on the telly

May 25th

And so we bid farewell once again

My love for you will always remain

You've made me feel that I am free

And you taught me this so eloquently

You set me apart from the tangible things

You fill my heart with the light you bring

This light is reflected in life's prism

Casting a shadow over materialism

My needs and wants are somewhat diminished

Where nature began man has finished

So once again I'm crossing my bar

You are so near but yet so far

As we drift further and you become small

I'm pleased I have answered you beckon call

Which has picked me up and made my spirit large

And allowed my battery to fully recharge

As we arrive back where we started

A piece of my heart remains departed

It serves as a beacon to help me return

To warm myself on the home fires that burn

You are a drug running through my vein

And so we bid farewell once again

I will be back to reclaim my land

Wait for me please my beautiful island

May 24th

Let me always be in the place I love

With only the clouds high above

Let me keep forever in my memories

The shining sun and rustling trees

Covered on all sides with sea all around

Walk the trail of vacant ground

A viewing point to see for miles

My favourite point on my favourite Isle

Let me always be where the silence is loud

Faraway from any madding crowd

My mind is filled with a vivid selection

Of beauty stretched out in all directions

Let me always feel this peacefulness

Free from life and free from stress

To be constantly surrounded by sea

Let me take this always along with me

Let me always be the quiet one

With healing breeze and warming sun

Which my mind can instantly recall

Let me always remember it all

Let me always have this feeling

Of sun and sea as wall and ceiling

Of peace and convivial tranquillity

To keep my mind always free

Let me always look down from up above

Let me always be in the place I love

May 23rd

There's a view from my parents spare room window

That peers across the sea

You do have to stand on a bed to see it though

As its very difficult to see

But the great sight is well worth contortions

Breaking waves and sailing yachts

It’s a postcard scene of limited proportions

And its better than the one I've got

The sky, like no other blue I've seen

The seagulls territorial call

The whistling wind through trees serene

The clouds are cotton wool

The air is classic summer sea breeze

With the still chill of spring

It stops and lingers around the trees

And gives birds aid to wing

Your mood is changed by your surroundings

You can falsely romanticise

But when you return to familiar groundings

you can start to realise

I come into the spare room sometimes

When my thoughts are all askew

To hear the gently blown wind chimes

And it helps to balance my view

May 22nd

We met her at a dance audition

Very calm and collected Ideal for position

From a quiet girl she soon fitted in

Positive and friendly with a cheeky grin

A real pleasure to work alongside

Taking new challenges into her stride

Funny and helpful a proper little darling

May you get all you wish for Lucy Ann Tarling

Two nicer folk you will struggle to find

Joined together their joy combined

A great example that devotion pays

Best wishes to you all from now until always

May 21st

He is a man who is fun to be around

Away with the fairies but feet on the ground

A real people person, instantly likeable

Constant energy, seemingly recyclable

Time for everyone a joke and some banter

Eases around with a distinguished canter

a strong personality, a pleasure to meet

Now it appears that his life is complete

He has a wife and he is a proud Dad

Family man but still jack the lad

One of life's great guys, makes you a believer

Pleased to be part of your special day Mr Cleaver

May 20th

That Friday feeling arrived once more

A day off together seemingly against our law

We are staring through restaurant windows

About to embark on our first ever Nando’s

A new experience that we've never heard before

The smell of peri peri as we open the door

A simple selection as they only sell on meat

The dichotomy comes when choosing the heat

One is mild, cool as a cucumber

One has no name merely a number

I chose the most mild as I'm that sort of bloke

And as designated driver it’s a bottomless coke

No deep fat frying just roast or griddle

We split our chickens straight down the middle

Half and half with chips and coleslaw

Not enough, so we ordered some more

My first taste and I'm pleasantly surprised

Good atmos and good food reasonably sized

We will return to Nando’s of course

If not for the chicken then for the sauce

They are all lined up for you to take and eat

To dip a chip or to flavour meat

Mmm it’s nice, is that all that you've got

Oh no wait a minute, it’s really hot

If the food is anything to go by, I'm pleased

Another reason to like the Portuguese

May 19th

Where the Spinnaker rises to the clouds

And near the throng of tourism crowds

The mouth of the Solent opens wide

We head across to the other side

An island stands out on its own

Wight and bright all sea worn stone

It’s a place of relaxation and tranquillity

A place where few have shaped their destiny

A place to unburden heavy loads

A reward for dues paid and owed

A place to convalesce and regain mental health

Arriving from the journey is reward itself

Not known for its healing of sanctity saves

As tides lap in with white peaked waves

Reap the benefit as the island extends

And feel at peace as an arm it lends

To be welcomed by the warm bosom of Wight

To be hugged and held on a starry night

To those that have felt this comfort

From regular visitors to residential imports

Are hurrying back to come again

To settle down ensconsed to remain

May 18th

A list of things to do with my week off

Besides all the drinks drunk and food scoffed

I want to go out and ride my bike

I want to re-meet friends and conversation strike

I want to wander and remember old times

I want to sit where Tennyson sat to right rhymes

I want to venture to places and really explore

I want to make sure Mum gets out more

I want to have a chat and watch telly with Dave

I want to mess around and mildly misbehave

I want to take the wife down to the sea

I want to remember the feeling of feeling free

I want to remember the time that we once knew

I want to write on the place that my festival grew

I want to be with my wife and to reminisce

I want to enjoy our Island bliss

I want to drive in single file

I want to discover new places on our Isle

I want to take part in a pub quiz with friends

I want to win this time to buck the trends

I want to be surrounded by my Island family

I want my life to be how it use to be

I want to make sure we go out of our way

I want to make the most of our holiday

I want to see all the tourist tack

I want all this, but do I want to move back?

May 17th

If you ever come to Woking then all the local talk
Will be of the local market down the local Mercia Walk
With samples aplenty all locally bought
Except for the olives which I think they import
From the sausage salesman to the lady with jam
Stall after stall they tightly cram
All ‘how are you madam’ and ‘how you doin fella’
Evenly spaced under a stripy green umbrella
The lady that bakes and decorates muffins
To the olive man with multiple stuffing’s
Fresh bread baked and bagel’s bageled
Pay your money and take your chance
Every sales man has their own unique dance
All different pitches and individual cries
Of free samples and try before you buy
A sign of the times as the customer’s edge
Towards the cakes stand and away from fruit and veg
My recommendation for sample eating
Is the Sausage man but I think he is cheating
Because with sausage smell the air begins to fill
He’s bought along a George Foreman grill
As with every market, this one pleases
As you get to try all the cheeses
The tourists and locals all happily poking
I love the peoples market in Woking

May 16th

Coffee shops are amazing places
Which now occupy any vacant spaces
They dominate high streets more and more
All plastic plants and parquet floor
Some people sit and chat all day
Whereas others rush in and take away
Offering things we don’t even need
But end up purchasing purely through greed
All fresh and baked as you enter
Hot and cold drinks along the counter
You pay and get your food on a plate
But for your beverages you have to wait
‘Have a nice day’ from the serving bimbo
Then plonk yourself down in front of a large window
As you stare at people going by
Surfing on the complimentary Wi-Fi
Ladies talking and listening and being polite
Sitting on un-comfy sofas at awkward heights
As a cleaning cloth randomly wipes
Over hush tones and vacuous pan pipes
Customers continue to ebb and flow
Ordering lattes aplenty to eat in or go
Seating outside a place to al fresco think
Loyalty cards with a free tenth drink
The till keeps running as more money is made
It would appear the coffee business is a very fair trade

May 15th

Oh no I’m having a crisis
I’m being attack by a social Psoriasis
The skin of my decorum is dry and cracked
As too much information is tightly packed
Demanding folk, begin to panic and fuss
And my mind fills with extraneous puss
Daily hassles from the public community
Please accept my pleas for private immunity
All business suit business tie and socks
Selling irritable annoyance with itchy pox
My tetchiness spreads as more start hatching
They’re under my skin but I can’t’ start scratching
The way they dismiss me is verging on obscene
Looking down their noses as if we are gangrene
If I had insecticide I have them all sprayed
Maybe I shouldn’t be in the customer services trade

May 14th

I said to the Wife ‘We’re making history today’
‘Yeah but it’s not like when they shot J.F.K’
Are you mad I said, it’s exactly the same
Give me a year and I’ll tell you the game
I thought I can rise to this challenge of hers
1987! Easy, Coventry City verses Spurs
At if that’s not enough can I have a drum roll?
Coventry won with a Gary Mabbutt own goal
She said ‘But it’s not as if the whole world views’
1990! Man Utd won with two goals from Hughes
Okay they didn’t win on the Cup final day
But Lee Martin scored on the midweek replay
It’s ingrained in our minds since we were small
You don’t just play, you live football
The amount of discussions you’re able to join
If you remember the 91 final & Paul Gascoigne
You tell me the year; I’ll tell you the score
My wife replied, ‘You really should get out more!’

May 13th

Friday didn’t happen this week, didn’t really get going
Wednesday Thursday were good days and without knowing
Friday just skipped past nothing too exciting
No outstanding good times or inspirational lightning
If only something amazing would start
It would certainly making it easier for my art
Instead of constantly struggling for subjects
Like arguing couples or postal defects
Starting to wonder, what’s the point of it all?
If every day I lack the power to recall
I’ve never really had much dedication
But I’ve put myself in this situation
A third of a year isn’t a whole book
But I get inspired as through the pages I look
I’ve written twenty four thousand words
In my life that is completely unheard
So now my book has purpose again
Need some more links to complete my chain
But so far it’s all falling into place
I’m learning quickly how to fill the space
We are getting close to being halfway
And as long as I write here everyday
By the end of the year I’ll have something to publish
Which, at the start of the year was a distant wish
And if I’m struggling to get the words right
I can always write about having nothing to write

May 12th

A sunny Woking day I thought it might nicely bode
To go and sit and write in Stanley Road
To add atmosphere I plugged into my pod
And selected Weller, father of all Mods
No idea of how many songs from his selection
Were written sitting on the one way section
Or whether he even came to this location
Of Stanley and Maybury Road by the station
Have all the songs from his memory banks
Been replaced by bus and taxi ranks
Have Wellers songs; to which we all hail
Been replaced by a sofa and furniture sale
Have all his memories been bought
And replaced by flats and Dukes Court
I wonder how of this place he thinks
All one bedroom flats with commuter links
Or the collection of all different religions
Thrown together by economic decisions
Being here increases my fascination
How this placed inspired anything but procrastination
I suppose you only get what you give
You can’t link everything to where you live
It’s a nice area lacking in natural grace
Maybe I’ve come to the wrong place
But for greatness he was always meant
It’s not where he’s from but where he went

May 11th

An old couple sat opposite me in a pub
Waiting on their recently purchased grub
Anticipating the upcoming mastication
They plunge into inevitable conversation
It’s not like you to have a curry dish
You normally opt for a simple burger or fish
I just fancied it, you know, for a change
Well don’t blame me if it comes out all strange
The trouble with curry is the sauce and the spice
You had it once before, you said it wasn’t very nice
There was a picture on the menu, it looked fine
Well don’t think that you’re having any of mine
Oh it’s a Thai curry, that’s worse than the Indian
Yeah but it comes with rice, poppadom and Naan
Bloody hell that’s loads, you won’t eat all that
Or maybe you will, you are getting a bit fat
There was a menu and you made your choice
Alright aright, don’t raise your voice
The food arrived and with no time to waste
Both dive straight in to have a taste
Mines alright but its only okay
Kind of mediocre you know everyday
This is really tasty both spicy yet mild
At this point her husband begins to get riled
Well I’m not happy with this, as of his food he bores
I don’t want this; can I have some of yours?

May 10th

What makes a good relationship tick?
Be it lovers, family or platonic
People who have been together for years
Implode under pressure or consumption of fears
Is it too easy for friendship to dissipate now?
Has marriage lost its longevity somehow?
It’s okay to misjudge and get something wrong
But if you’re feeling that you no longer belong
There’s no need to bottle it all up all inside
But conduct yourself with a bit of pride
Your life doesn’t have to feel like a chore
Remember the person that you fell for
Treat everybody evenly as we are all equal
It’s never too late, we are only people
It’s not a game of he said she said
It’s not being cold or having a hot head
These are the people who love you the most
Stay true to your spirit don’t become a ghost
They loved you once, they’ll love you again
To keep the peace you can take the blame
You can’t wander through life alone
You need more than a house to feel at home
So to all my friends, you know who you are
Come and share a drink with me in life’s bar
Don’t disappear or stay out of view
Remember the things that make you, ‘you’

May 9th

As summer is arriving and days are getting longer
The urge to take a holiday is getting stronger
We’re honing in on where to go and now we’ve set our sight
On staying in with Ma & Pa, Yarmouth Isle of Wight
Yarmouth is a sleepy town with a communal atmos
Yachties sipping Champagne, biddies drinking from a thermos
Yarmouth has a village feel that comes alive one a year
For the Gaffers festival in June all bunting and free beer
Once again the Yachties appear as the sunset dims
Congregating in pubs and chatting over Pimms
The water is constantly moving yet time stands still
Relaxing and unwinding with all the time to kill
In the air the smell of times gone by
As clouds dissipate revealing a summer sky
To sit by the mariner and nurse your first beer
To drink and dine finely making things more clear
The pier the square the boats the steeple
The market, the vibe, the feel and the people
It’s like a town that time forgot
But once you go, then you will not
As the river Yar meets the Solent tide
It’s the islands calmness personified
Tourist descend to have times of great fun
But I just pop down to see my Dave and my Mum

May 8th

My folks have booked their flights down under
A month with Jan and John will be a time filled with wonder
I’m so pleased they’re returning as they loved it once before
So this time they can relax, as they know what is in store
A few beach days and perhaps a drink or two
Mum holding a koala or feeding a kangaroo
Although Mum doesn’t really like the flight
It’s only one day for the sake of thirty one nights
Very jealous as I would love to have gone
Celebrating their Anniversary with Jan & John
Would have like to be there to see them opening their cards
But mostly want to go to beat John at billiards

May 7th

Last day of the season and it’s all up for the taking
All down to the last game, I’m all nervous and shaking
We never seem to make sure, it’s always last minute
I hope next season we make sure, from the start in it to win it
All was looking good with fifteen minutes left
Only needing a draw but lost, leaving me bereft
Karen doesn’t understand she always says with a grin
Why don’t you just support a team that wins?
It’s not that simple, you’re team is earned not bought
Draw a line from where you were born, that is who you support
If you’re from Kent it’s the Gills, you’re a fox if from Leicester
When in Rome its Lazio and in Surrey it’s mostly Manchester

May 6th

It only takes one tiny spark
To stand you out from a crowd
Your fire will light up the dark
Take pride in being proud
No one will hear what you’re saying
If you don’t have the drive inside
So use the dues that you are paying
Start living to stay more alive
Excel each day to become more wise
Use everybody as a teacher
Approach all things with open eyes
Study everyone like Nietzsche
Have you ever really tried your best?
Given your all with no question
Do you always improve with every test?
Have you learnt to learn your lesson?
Whilst all this evolving in moving on
While everything is changing all around
Don’t fret if things are going wrong
Make sure you move to your own sound
So if this hits you with an open mind
Show us all what we want to see
Don’t be blinkered by those that are blind
Be as brilliant as you can be

May 5th

I’m a normal man with regular wants and needs
I like simple cars that drive at sufficient speeds
I’ve never been arrested or challenged by the law
I’m happy with what I have, I’ve never longed for more
I have reasonable intelligence, enough to get me through
I have a general understanding and a fairly balanced view
I’m easily won over by a show of individuality
I’ve always been wide open to people different to me
I have time for people who went with me to school
I’m trying to be more patient and tolerant of fools
So this year I’ve decided to take a stronger stance
To set wider parameters, say yes and take a chance
It’s just a word of warning, a heads up from me
I will still approach my tasks with my humble humility
So you’ll never see me shouting to get my point heard
You’ll never hear me declare ‘that’s my final word!’
I’ll welcome an opposition and have an argument
I have no real opinion or bruised spleen to vent
I have no good or bad side or laundry to publicly air
I’m passionate and loyal about those for whom I care
So join me on my bandwagon those I like and love
And if you see me struggling please give me a shove