Nothing of any note happened today
I have no tale to tell, no words to play
No drama played out directly before me
No miracles witnessed, no unbridled glee
No ladies with enormous hands and feet
No planned bulldozing of historic street
No dogs bullied or cats thrown in bins
No video released of celebrity sin
No affair caught out in seedy alleys
No band the bomb marches or burning bra rallies
No massive queues for buses or striking cabs
No protests against animal testing labs
No ticket inspector with strong vocal habits
No old grey lady paid for babysitting rabbits
No exclusive photo of a naughty M.P
No picture of a drunken flashing celebrity
No ‘Abigail’ from Derby with her chesticles out
No NHS foul up leading to an outbreak of gout
No Iain from Aldershot slagging off ‘The Man’
No nutter on EBay trying to sell his Gran
No psycho saying that the voices spoke
No lottery winner claiming to now be broke
No dynamic duo to save us from criminal capers
No news, good or bad, of note in the papers
Without this news, we still seemed to function
It’s like the news itself has taken out a super-injunction
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