May 26th

I'd sell my Gran, I'd sell a kidney

If you said you had a ticket to give me

I'd be your best friend you'd always remember me

If you could just sneak me into Wembley

I'd flog my C.D's or go with you on a date

If you could let me through that special gate

I'd be your boyfriend even turn a little gay

If you could get me in on cup final day

I'd look after your kids and regularly babysit

If I could be there live to actually watch it

I'd steal a car, I'd commit any crime

If you could get me a seat on the halfway line

I'd buy you a cottage and its roof I'll thatch

If you just tell me I can watch the match

I'd do science experiments and swallow radium

If you say you'll let me into the stadium

I'd pose naked with grapes I would lay

If you get me in from Wembley way

I'd love you forever even get a tattoo

If you tell me there's a seat just next to you

I'd become a gymnast and do the rings and beams

If I could be there live to watch the teams

I'd scratch your back whenever you have an itch

If I could be there and touch the pitch

But unfortunately unless your name is Pele

You have to stay at home and watch it on the telly