October 24th

collapsed, troubled prepared to implode
feeling that I'm worldly owed
festering in my self loathing
slumming in my bed clothing
feeling as sorry as it's possible to feel
not wanting to expose the big reveal
want to wallow and waste away
feel that there's nothing left to say
even if I did it not your fault
take it all with a pinch of salt
down in the dumps feeling quite low
then a call from someone I know
everything he's done has a silver lining
honestly, talk about timing
His voice was full of wonder and light
Hopeful conversation bouncy and polite
I don’t have faith in destiny or fate
But believe in the good timing of a mate
He knew just the right time of day
He knew the best things to say
His enthusiasm and tone made me smile
I hadn’t heard that for quite a while
Positive, encouraging, funny and direct
Sometimes simplicity is easy to forget
To my friend who knew just what to say
The futures bright, the futures Gray

October 23rd

Too good to come to fruition

Too nice to fit my position

Too easy to start again

Too dark to see the flame

Too simple to hold in hand

Too lucid to fit my plan

Too basic too simplistic

Too effortless to un-drastic

Too straight forward for me

Too many doors for this key

Too much influence and pressure

Too tall and wide for me to measure

Too real to actually come true

Too soon to fully review

Too amazing to fully come off

Too few peaks too many troughs

Too wonderful for words

Too complex to observe

Too sure that it would do

Too dark and all to blue

Too excessive and oversold

To hot to feel too cold

Too close to turn our backs

Too near to now relax

Too great for us not to cope

Too close for us to lose our hope

October 22nd

Today has been adventurous and free

I can sort of see the forest for the tree

I've kind of cleared a better direction

And nearly figured out my retrospection

It was okay, fine, mediocre

I've sorted my new face for poker

He said this then I said that

Socially acceptable bonding back pat

Now the future is nearly clear

We are no further but a little near

We definitely know nothing for certain

We are no closer to raising the curtain

Positivity has surrounded me

And life could not better be

Clouded in my minds pollution

Longing for the new solution

Through the darkness I've been led

And there is a clearing up ahead

Just a good future as I ask it

But not putting eggs into one basket

Success is mine for the taking

And it'll be worth the waiting

If negativity does return

how to move on, what to learn

Upcoming thoughts begin to swell

And all's well that ends well

October 21st

This is the life I can't afford

Sitting discussing houses abroad

Butlers and Nannies, private education

Original artwork bought by a rich relation

Grand parties in grander houses

Shiny shoes and tweedy trousers

Peoples who's gardens are bigger parks

Who do their big shop in Marks and Sparks

Drive around in four by fours

Whose tiny dogs have tiny paws

Who are a continual glowing colour

Teeth are bright but lives are duller

They don't seem to be bothered at all

By the current climate or economic fall

I'm hoping they don't hold a grudge

And perhaps I'm too quick to judge

People make the world go round

And it's good to find some middle ground

Folks with money are just people

With bigger houses with a steeple

October 20th

seemingly failed to strike a chord

so now its back to the drawing board

Free to browse for my selection

free to choose a new direction

I've stumbled back into the starting blocks

learned my lesson taken the knocks

I've come out the other side a better man

redesigned and reconstructed the plan

I've not been stopped just the breaks applied

see the future with eyes open wide

Life is a library for my learning

I've finished one book that needs returning

But I want to carry on reading

Each adventure superseding

I want to read and learn some more

But I've run out of library metaphor

So I'll look for a book by me

And call it mediocrity

If my year is to be a book in writing

I'm just getting to the bit that’s exciting

If you'd like to read the book by myself

Just look upon the genius shelf

October 19th

What was Bruce thinking, when he wrote Born to run

How were Waters and Gilmore feeling writing Comfortably Numb

What made Wilson feel those Good Vibrations

And Townsend was right about My Generation

what was it about McCartney and Lennon

that makes their writing go on and on

What made their writing more revealing?

What made their songs stand out?

Did they just pen innermost feelings

or just know what music was about

I hope that something I write

Will mean something to someone

Real feelings not just being polite

Recognition of how far I've come

October 18th

Monday was a day of rest

Tuesday was full of waiting stress

Wednesday my life stood still

Thursday had more time to kill

Friday normality continued

Saturday held the weeks aptitude

Sunday was a busy day

Monday didn't go my way

Tuesday wasn't what I wanted

Wednesday left feeling haunted

Thursday I'd seen what I'd become

Friday feeling had succumb

Saturday didn't get dressed

Sunday had lack of rest

Monday lack of inspiration

Tuesday full of perspiration

Wednesday a light was shining

Thursday cloud had silver lining

Friday feeling fully refreshed

Saturday's ego was caressed

Sunday rearranged my thoughts

Monday start again from nought